I was trying to decide how to start this online journal, and all I could think was "OK, SO..." I think that might have to be my opening line every time. Channeling my inner Cher Horowitz. OK, SO... I am about to launch into a complaint session of epic proportions, but don't blame me. I just went through one of the toughest year-and-a-half in my lifetime. I can't wait to live another twenty years and somehow have to explain the weirdness of living through a global pandemic, while simultaneously watching the decline of our democracy and decent into fascism (with some brief respites thanks to Joe Biden), and the ending of my five-year relationship. To the love of my life. Who I still love. And who is still in my life. No wonder I am in therapy. In fact I have a therapist AND a Psychiatrist. And medication. Thank god. So let's consider this journal an attempt at some personal growth and therapy that I desperately need. I don't expect a lot of people to read this, at least not yet. Perhaps instead of launching into my stream-of-consciousness rantings about how genuinely fucked up I feel, I think I'll begin with a list of topics I will have to write about. So here's the chapter headings: Dealing with the trauma of my evangelical upbringing (geez wont that be fun). Pandemic depression. The loss of the best relationship I have ever had. Career rut. I need a hobby (maybe blogging is my hobby?). Sex. Friendships. Loneliness. Boundaries. I think that's a good start for now. So as i sit here in the Starbucks, I am actually shocked all this came out of me fairly quickly. OH I need to add a chapter heading on emotions. This pandemic has seriously done a number on me and I am almost on the verge of tears at the drop of a hat. This is not what I am used to! OK, SO... Where to begin?